All quotes
Every published quote, filterable by category, tone and mood.
800 results
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Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit. — Aristotle（Attribution unverified） |
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Anyone without a sense of humor is at the mercy of everyone else. — William Rotsler（Attribution unverified） |
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In the end, everything is a gag. — Charlie Chaplin（Attribution unverified） |
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Kids like my act because I'm wearing nose glasses. Adults like my act because there's a guy who thinks putting on nose glasses is funny. — Steve Martin（Attribution unverified） |
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Well, the telling of jokes is an art of its own, and it always rises from some emotional threat. The best jokes are dangerous, and dangerous because they are in some way truthful. — Kurt Vonnegut（Attribution unverified） |
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The sky was of the deepest blue, with a few white, fleecy clouds drifting lazily across it, and the air was filled with the low drone of insects or with a sudden sharper note as bee or bluefly shot past with its quivering, long-drawn hum, like an insect tuning-fork. — Arthur Conan Doyle（Attribution unverified） |
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There are more bad musicians than there is bad music. — Isaac Stern（Attribution unverified） |
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His neighbor is a tooth-drawer. That bag at his girdle is full of the teeth that he drew at Winchester fair. I warrant that there are more sound ones than sorry, for he is quick at his work and a trifle dim in the eye. — Arthur Conan Doyle（Attribution unverified） |
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And yet the motives of women are so inscrutable. You remember the woman at Margate whom I suspected for the same reason. No powder on her nose - that proved to be the correct solution. How can you build on such a quicksand? Their most trivial action may mean volumes, or their most extraordinary conduct may depend upon a hairpin or a curling tongs. — Arthur Conan Doyle（Attribution unverified） |
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We had got as far as this, when who should walk in but the gentleman himself, who had been drinking his beer in the taproom and had heard the whole conversation. Who was I? What did I want? What did I mean by asking questions? He had a fine flow of language, and his adjectives were very vigorous. — Arthur Conan Doyle（Attribution unverified） |
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Well, sir, let us do what we can to curtail this visit, which can hardly be agreeable to you, and is inexpressibly irksome to me. — Arthur Conan Doyle（Attribution unverified） |
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There seems to me to be absolutely no limit to the inanity and credulity of the human race. Homo Sapiens! Homo idioticus! — Arthur Conan Doyle（Attribution unverified） |
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Irish was a man of parts even if some of them didn't work too well. — Angela Carter（Attribution unverified） |
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Puberty is the sickest joke God plays on us. So you're just noticing members of the sex: "Girls girls, ooo". Naturally you want to look your best, and God says "No! You will look the worst you've ever looked in your life!" — Eddie Izzard（Attribution unverified） |
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Ants are so much like human beings as to be an embarrasment...They do everything but watch television. — Lewis Thomas（Attribution unverified） |
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It is quite untrue that British people don't appreciate music. They may not understand it but they absolutely love the noise it makes. — Thomas Beecham（Attribution unverified） |
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When my wife and I met, I couldn't talk to her - and my defense mechanism is sarcasm. I belittle someone with verbal pokes and prods. I did it to her out of complete awe. When friends introduced us, I said 'Hi' - and turned my back. Later, I called my mom and best friend and said, 'I think I just met my wife.' — Mike Vogel（Attribution unverified） |
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there is a fine line between sarcasm and hostility, you seemed to have crossed it. What's up? — Cassandra Clare（Attribution unverified） |
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My plea is that we stop seeking out the storms and enjoy more fully the sunlight...I am asking that we look a little deeper for the good, that we still our voices of insult and sarcasm, that we more generously compliment and endorse virtue and effort. — Gordon B. Hinckley（Attribution unverified） |
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Sarcasm... the protest of those who are weak. — John Knowles（Attribution unverified） |