All quotes
Every published quote, filterable by category, tone and mood.
800 results
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Nature wishes that woman should attract man, yet she often cunningly moulds into her face a little sarcasm, which seems to say, 'Yes, I am willing to attract, but to attract a little better kind of a man than any I yet behold — Ralph Waldo Emerson（Attribution unverified） |
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I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her. — Rodney Dangerfield（Attribution unverified） |
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Nothing sharpens the arrow of sarcasm so keenly as the courtesy that polishes it; no reproach is like that we clothe with a smile and present with a bow. — Lord Chesterfield（Attribution unverified） |
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If you drink like a fish, don't drive: swim. — Joe E. Lewis（Attribution unverified） |
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Early morning cheerfulness can be extremely obnoxious. — William Feather（Attribution unverified） |
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My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me. — Benjamin Disraeli（Attribution unverified） |
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You never realize how short a month is until you pay alimony. — John Barrymore（Attribution unverified） |
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Nothing is as irritating as the fellow who chats pleasantly while he's overcharging you. — Kin Hubbard（Attribution unverified） |
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Wit is the salt of conversation, not the food, and few things in the world are more wearying than a sarcastic attitude towards life. — Agnes Repplier（Attribution unverified） |
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You listen to any monologue on late-night TV or just in general, to people talking, and there's always a joke at someone's expense. It's sarcasm; it's nasty. Kids grow up hearing that, and they think that's what humor is, and they think it's OK. But that negativity permeates the entire planet. — Ellen DeGeneres（Attribution unverified） |
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I have seen slower people than I am and more deliberate... and even quieter, and more listless, and lazier people than I am. But they were dead. — Mark Twain（Attribution unverified） |
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I see little hope for democracy as an effective form of government, but I admire the poetry of how it makes its victims complicit in their own destruction. — Eliezer Yudkowsky（Attribution unverified） |
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The lead singer of Creed says he won’t endorse President Obama. Well that settles it -- Obama will not win the 1998 presidential election. — Stephen Colbert（Attribution unverified） |
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It is after you have lost your teeth that you can afford to buy steaks. — Pierre-Auguste Renoir（Attribution unverified） |
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Money can't buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy. — Spike Milligan（Attribution unverified） |
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Blows are sarcasms turned stupid. — George Eliot（Attribution unverified） |
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I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it. — Mark Twain（Attribution unverified） |
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I would like to live in Manchester, England. The transition between Manchester and death would be unnoticeable. — Mark Twain（Attribution unverified） |
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The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat. — Ogden Nash（Attribution unverified） |
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Marry me and I'll never look at another horse! — Groucho Marx（Attribution unverified） |